Jury Duty Part 2

Posted: October 26, 2009 by Brian in comedy

8:00 a.m.
Juror Orientation begins. A series of speeches, application
walk-throughs, and videos nearly put me to sleep. I realized I needed
the coffee that I so vitally depend on but didn't get this morning
because I usually get some at work. Curses!

9:07 a.m.
The court staff member dismisses the room for a short 20 minute break
after calling the first group of victims for, what I assume, is first
panel. I was not part of that group. The man next to me stares at me
in weird ways. Another man, sitting across from me is wearing
glasses–SUNglasses–indoors. Oh, how I hate that. Also, I've already
discovered that loquacious person that everyone finds obnoxious and
wishes would accidentally fall out the 6th story window to her
not-so-pleasant death. Bitch…

9:42 a.m.
The second panel of jurors has been called. I was not a a part of THAT
group. I'd forgotten how tedious the jury duty process was. Headache
is slowly fading as my veins pump caffeine and aspirin through my
system. Very Nice! Although, my fear of catching H1N1 increases as
people cough and sneeze everywhere around me. Sick bastards! There is
such a thing as calling in sick to Jury Duty. I sit, and wait some
more.

1:47 p.m.
Before we all took a 2-hour lunch (very nice), they called one more
panel of jurors to a courtroom. Again, I was ignored. I tried napping
but it seemed to be a much more difficult task than I thought. Mr.
Sunglass guy across the way is playing his iPod loud enough to hear.
The old asian lady next to me is napping and keeps bonking her head on
my shoulder. And countless people are in the envious state of "knocked
the fuck out", that it sounds like an ensemble of noses. I've been back
from lunch for almost half an hour and they have not said anything over
the loudspeaker yet. The guy two seats away from me, is in and out of
sleep and keeps whipping his head back. Its the funniest thing to see.
I can't help but laugh about it. Hope they call me soon, or not.

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